Stepping out of the box

Tonight I trekked about 50 minutes south to a studio I've never been to. This was for two reasons.

1. I wanted a studio workout
2. It is owned by a woman I've known for 28 years and haven't seen in 17

The studio is great! It is 'Pole Fitness' facility...yes think Strippers meets Cirque du Soleil. Seriously I watched part of the previous advanced class and these women are IMPRESSIVE.

Someday I'm gonna try this stuff full on! The class tonight focused on abs and butt...and OWWWW! But it felt good! I'm excited to try more classes later this summer.

Check em out:
www.studiosfitness.com

Staying active...

I've worked really hard at staying active while on vacation.

Yesterday, after we boot-camped in the driveway (in the rain no less) we headed to Mackinac.

If you want to be active, Mackinac is the place to do it. If you've never heard of it, it is an island in Michigan where the only way on or off is by boat or plane...well you can ride a snowmobile across Lakes Michigan and Superior and Huron in the winter when they freeze.

There are no automobiles on the island. The only transportation options are horse, bike and walking.

We always rent bikes an ride the 'Highway' around the island (8-9 miles). Yes it is a highway! But again only horses, bikes and pedestrians.

Here are some pics from yesterday. Please note the pic of me standing with the bike is one of the first full body pictures I've shared on Facebook an it got great 'reviews'.

Rain rain go away!!!

The downside to vacation is that where I am all workouts are outside. Therefore I am at the mercy of Mother Nature.....and man is she annoying today.

We got a workout in this morning and then after breakfast went to play golf. Sadly we only got three holes in before the rain made us call it I'm looking outside at this nastiness and thinking its time to say F&&& it and go running in the cold rain.

No excuses...

Summer has started. And for me, that means treking my ass to the great north woods an our summer home in Northern Michigan. I'm vacationing in my most favorite place.

But, just cause I'm relaxing doesn't mean I'm not working hard. I designed daily bootcamp inspired workouts for me and my cousin.

I have burned a crazy amount of calories in the last couple days. While I have enjoyed some treats, I've also been crazy active. So here are some images from the last couple days to prove it.

And...exhale...

Coming close but not quite there..

I'm headed on the first of many vacations this summer. My goal was to be down 50lbs by now. I missed that by just a few pounds (like less than 5). I almost started beating myself up over it, but guess what....I got over it.

Holy S**t! Can you believe it? I've been doing this for 18 weeks (well plus 1 week in between bootcamps)

The amount of weight I have lost is the kind of number I always thought...man if I could just lose 40 lbs...

Well, 40 lbs isn't enough for me. Now that I know I can do this (in fact I've lost more than that) I know I can go much further in this journey!

I feel like a confessor...

There is a look that I am reveling in. It is the look I get when I see someone I haven't seen in a while. It is the look of surprise and astonishment at the changes.

If I didn't see this look, I might not recognize the changes in myself. I LOVE seeing people I haven't seen in a while. And I love telling them about program when they ask. But, then begins the part that always makes me giggle inside. People start confessing that they need to change, or that they wish they could or even better they start telling me everything they eat.

I want to say, this is not a competition. Nor is my progress a reflection on you. I want to champion healthy choices people make and not make them feel bad about choices when they aren't so healthy. Hell, I was not the picture of health and I have a long way to go before I am a role model. I want to stop these folks mid-sentence and tell them 'It's ok! The choices you made today good or bad are your choices and you have the power to make better choices tomorrow. You don't have to look for absolution from anyone but yourself.'

18 weeks...

I have been on this journey for 18 weeks. 18 weeks ago I made a choice. I chose myself. I chose to re-prioritize my life. I chose to ignore the voice in me that said I couldn't do this and opted to lie to myself until my lie became a reality. I wake in the morning and think about my day and all I can accomplish. I put my head down at night and I know (99% of the time) that I did my best. I consider every decision I make, however mundane it might seem, and how it impacts my well being.

And so at 18 weeks of choosing myself I can sit here and type...
I've lost 43 pounds
I've lost 25 inches on my body (10 on my waist, 8 on my hips and 7 on my chest).
I can do push ups, LOTS OF THEM
I can make healthy eating choices and enjoy those choices
I can make my life a priority, without ignoring my obligations
I can push myself to go faster, harder, longer and to be stronger
I only think happy thoughts about myself now...because having a negative self image is exhausting

I can do this, and I want other people to know they have the capacity to do this.

I'm ready for another 18 weeks! Yup, 18 more weeks!!!

Iso-butyl-propanoic-phenolic acid is my favorite...

You may know it as Ibuprofen or the brand name Advil. I try not to take painkillers or an anti-inflammatory if I don't need to do it. But damn, I am grateful that they exist and I have access. 

Tonight I am thankful for The Boots Group and to Dr. Stewart Adams who personally tested it on his hangover. 

Sitting on ice...

It's catching up with me. The aches the pains the stiffness. I finally don't care what people think at work and I ice different parts of my body all day. Today it was lower back, hips and butt. Yah I said butt. Lucky for me it was jeans day, because yup...I actually sat on ice for two hours today. And, damn it felt good.

Just as I was feeling better and my body was feeling stretched and in good condition, you guessed it, I hauled my fanny back to Fusion and did a 5:30pm workout to kick off my weekend.

So, I sit here on a Friday night at barely 9:30 and I can't keep my eyes open. I am very grateful for this exhaustion because it means I worked hard!

It's the little things...

My body has gone through a lot of changes. I will post 6 week results here soon (we measure on Monday) but for now I'd like to share this little musing.

Summertime means open toed shoes. It means making sure your toenails look nice, well actually that your feet in general aren't disgusting. In the past it was a nice luxury to go get a pedicure and enjoy that expensive indulgence.

But, if I'm being totally honest, it was actually just easier to have someone else do it cause frankly I was too fat. I had to contort my body in crazy positions to get my toes just right. So I gave up.

The other morning I was rushing out the door and I switched to open toed shoes. My toes weren't painted so without thinking I grabbed my favorite color and started painting. It wasn't til I was done 1 minute later that I realised 'Oh my gosh, I didn't have to twist or bend or stretch!' It isn't hard for me to do this simple thing anymore.

So get ready cause I will spend the whole summer in open toed shoes sporting my favorite OPI polish that is named 'I'm Not Really A Waitress.'

Chose your hard!

I had a rough workout last night. Not because it was physically tough (though it was). It was rough mentally.

I actually had out loud conversations with myself at points trying to push myself. I am sure the girl next to me thought I was nuts...but who cares.

I made it to the end, but not how I wanted to and not how I wanted to finish. I didn't finish strong. I had the thought of 'this is too hard!' I hadn't had that feeling in a while.

So this came at the perfect time...

An incredibly inspirational woman posted this and while I've seen this before, it came at the perfect time.

A picture...

If a picture is worth a thousand words then here you go...
This is how I feel after a workout at Fusion!

I'm moving faster...

A long time ago when I started walking in the mornings (on rare occasions) I kept saying to myself 'I'm moving faster than everyone still in bed.'

It is hard to be one of the slowest in the group. Part is attributed to my size, part to my height and part to my mental blocks about sprinting. Then a couple weeks ago someone from bootcamp posted this and I think it is so true. I had a conversation with my friend A.P. after our lunchtime soccer practice about it and we both agreed. It is better to be dead last than not have ever started.

On trying new things...

I've mentioned a couple times that my company takes part in the KC Corporate Challenge. I have opted to participate in three events. Golf, Soccer and Basketball. The first one was what seemed comfortable. Everyone in my family golfs from a young age. I love it. It is one of my favorite things to do in the summer. This past weekend the tournament was held and while the course was in bad shape, the speed of play was painful and I didn't play so well....I had a blast. I not only played 18 but I was thrilled because where I usually wear out by hole 7 (so I generally played 9) I didn't wear out until around hole 16 or 17! The work I have put in over the past few months has had a great effect on my game

But this is about trying new things...and that's what I did! I signed up for Soccer and Basketball. While we haven't had a practice for Basketball yet, we have had a couple Soccer practices. Today we played 3:3 like we will for the tournament. We had a blast and got a little aggressive. So much so that I collided with a friend and we went down. That resulted in a pulled quad for me and a bruised knee for her. I'm hoping icing the leg and taking Ibuprofen will help. When another friend of mine, a guy, told me to suck it up and teased about the whiny soccer players I said...'Hey, can you just high five me cause I never would have done this a year ago.' And, he did.

It is like all of a sudden I have found my bravery and my willingness to make an ass of myself. Did I mention that Saturday night I sang Karaoke solo for the first (and possibly last) time ever?! Never would have done that before this started.

What makes me happy...

I'm discovering what really makes me happy. For a long time I thought I was happy. I said I was happy. It looked like I was happy. But, in reality I didn't know what happiness was. I knew joy. I knew fun and elation but I truly believe that this is the first time in a long time I have felt happy.

I guess to really understand what I mean I would first have to define what I think 'happy' is. I am just discovering this feeling in the sense that it is not defined by outside forces. Rather it emanates from within. See, I think there are things or events around us that can make us feel happy but this life I am experiencing now is making me 'be' happy.

I wake in the morning without a sense of dread. I look forward to the next task. I smile at myself in the mirror, not just because I like how I look but because I love how I feel. My energy pushes me and drives me and makes me want to do more to experience more of this happiness. I know there is a physiological link between endorphins and our emotions. I think more than that, it is a psychological shift in how I look and define myself that is what drives me every day. I am addicted to this life and that is a wonderful feeling.

Just a few of my favorites

Motivational quotes make me happy. I think I am going to start making them part of this blog on a regular basis. Here are three that make me smile...

#1: I look at this and try to remember my mindset of a few months back. Being content with who I was but not happy.

#2: Everyone sees my outsides. Society makes it about how you look. But you know what that isn't my motivation. Weight loss is a bonus but damn it, how I feel is far more important.

#3: And this one well hell it doesn't need an explanation...

Reflections on four months...

It is amazing to me that I have been doing this for four months. Four months and a few days ago I would come straight home, sit on the couch and eat a fatty meal. I ate out 4-8 times a week. I never thought about my ratios of protein to carbs. Physical activity was a non starter.

It is four months and I am a different person...4 months, 16 weeks, 112 days...that is 1/3 of a year. It has only taken me that long to turn my life around. I know it is a long battle well a lifelong one. But you know what? Starting was a battle. I think about how I was sure I would quit. I would fail. I think about how I didn't tell anyone at first what I was doing and now you can't shut me up about it.

I am ridiculously crazy over the moon in love with my life right now.

I'm BACK!!!

Woo Hoo after an awful 9 day hiatus from my workouts, I was finally up for a Fusion workout tonight...Fusion Mix to be exact. And while I couldn't do the down-dog push ups since the world still feels like a tilt-a-wheel...I DID EVERYTHING ELSE! Oh my god it feels good. To move my body, to feel the sweat, to have that internal debate with myself to push harder, to collapse with glee at the end.

I know that I am going to be sore in the morning. And I LOVE IT! I will feel every ache and pain and think about how I earned it. I will know in my heart that I can come back from setbacks and feel strong. This feels so damn good.

My messed up hip and self diagnosis...

For a few weeks I've had a sore hip. I watched an old episode of Biggest Loser and the woman had a cracked hip. Well, hypochondriac that I am I decided I had a broken hip or torn ligaments. I was sure I had hip cancer. Everything under the sun.

Then, the other day, I was sitting at my desk and looked down. And there it was, the cause. I was sitting with one leg under me and the other leg crossed across the front of my body. The bad hip was getting tons of pressure. Well hells bells I think that could be the issue. So for a week I've made a concerted effort to not sit this way. Sometimes I catch myself and other times my best friend instant messages me at random points in the day to say 'Hey stop sitting weird!' Best friends are good like that.

Guess what?! I don't have a broken hip anymore.

Yah not so much...

I was up coughing all night long. And bonus positional vertigo has set in so I walk crooked. So when I got up at 4:30 this morning I knew it wasn't going to happen. I have to be ok with this. I have to accept that my body needs to rest and heal. I will come back from this I've done it before I can do it again!

Oh yah I got my Red Dress On...

First off I am FINALLY on the mend. It was at about this week in the last bootcamp that I got the Flu and it took me a few days to work out again. And then I coughed for about two weeks of workouts. So I know I can come back from this. At this point I am coughing, I get fatigued and oh yah I have an ear thing going on that is causing positional vertigo. Awesome. But I'm gonna get up in the morning and go to bootcamp.

On to fun things. I left my home for 4 hours on Saturday to go to Derby Day which is a benefit for a place I love The Children's Center for the Visually Impaired (CCVI) held every year for the Kentucky Derby. I don't know if it is the fact that I had a great new hat or that my dress finally fit.

Almost a year ago I was introduced to Modcloth. It is my favorite online shopping site, though I have only made one purchase. See, I love the dresses on this site but there are very few big girl dresses. A year ago I spotted a dress I adored and I bought it in the largest size I could. It came and very obviously didn't fit. It was so tight I could barely put it on. It was not flattering and I was so sad. I did not however return this dress. I hung it and put it on the back of my bedroom door. I could see this dress every morning before I opened and every night as I closed it. I kept thinking, 'What a perfect Derby dress this could be.' A month ago I tried it on and it sort of fit. It wasn't perfect but that was ok.

The day of the Derby I was still feeling bad but was bound and determined to wear that dress. Hell it would probably be way too big next year. So I got up and got dressed and when I put that dress on it was perfect. I felt so pretty and so happy and most of all proud. Everyone loved the dress and I even won best ensemble. But most importantly, the dress is no longer hanging on the back of my door, but is now in my laundry pile since she finally got worn to a party.

Here is a picture of me in the dress with my two tall friends who have been great cheerleaders for me...

Sidelined by allergies...

The world is covered in a dust of green haze. This is greatly limiting my ability to breathe or exercise. Had to stay home from work today as I am getting my ass kicked by this stuff. I just want to feel healthy. Here is hoping tomorrow is better and I can get my ass to the gym.