I feel like this week has been so much better. After that horrible Tuesday, and my decision to stop making it about the scale my stress has dropped. I am instead trying to focus on healthy decisions. I think this is part of the transition from bootcamp to real life. I think this was a good lesson for me.
Don't get me wrong, I have gotten on the scale and it is dropping but I kind of don't care. I am putting myself in a good place mentally and still accomplishing what I want to do. So I will keep pushing myself but I will also take time to reflect on each day and how far I have come. So, little victories. It is the little victories that add up into huge ones. Here are a few of my non-scale related victories this past week (in no particular order)...
1. Sunday I knocked out back to back workouts and one of them was a group fitness class where I wasn't sure I'd know anyone and I didn't care.
2. Saturday I woke up for a 6:55 am Fusion Fly Class and was excited about it.
3. Friday at a company meeting I ran up the stairs after our break and wasn't one bit winded
4. I started wearing lipstick which is huge because I never really wear make up in an attempt to remain hidden so yup that's a new one
5. Started shopping for a full length mirror for my home, something long since banished
6. Wore skinny jeans and pink high heels (see #4 to understand the significance)
7. I skipped a workout and did NOT beat myself up about it. Instead figured out why I did it and what I need to do next time.
8. Looked in the mirror and genuinely smiled back at myself
9. Borrowed professional clothes from a friend and guess what, it is the first time I've borrowed an outfit from a friend in I don't know how many years (I was always too big in comparison to friends)
10. I made this week NOT about the scale and I MEANT IT!!!
Monday, August 19, 2013
Friday, August 16, 2013
I hope I feel like this when I'm 80...
This is a post about my workouts or weight loss. It is a post about love and loss.
There was someone that I loved to share things with. With whom I shared a lot of secrets. We laughed and she lectured and I listened. I never (well almost never) disobeyed her. It didn't matter towards the end that she was blind and fragile. She was in charge and I knew it. I loved my grandmother, Grammy, very much. In the last few years of her life I spent a lot of time with her. I know secrets about her I will never share and I will hold close. She died about a year and a half ago and when she died I was holding her hand. It was quiet and peaceful and what she wanted. And, it was both sad and joyous.
I think about her a lot and don't really cry about it anymore, because we had very frank discussions about life and death. We talked about her wanting to see my grandfather, Pops, again so I know she is happy with him. But I wish she was around just for a minute so I could share with her what I've accomplished. I know that she knows. I know that she's watching. But, sometimes, selfishly I want her physically present.
Today after a meeting, I went to the store to get a salad and for some reason she popped in my head. I don't know why but she did. While waiting to pay an elderly man spilled his coffee and I let him cut in line to pay so he could go get cleaned up. We chatted for less than 10 seconds and I felt a wave come over me. I felt so close to her and so loved. I went to the parking lot and promptly burst into tears.
I hope when I'm 80 I still feel as close to my Grammy as I do at 35. I hope that she remains an ever present spirit in my life. I hope that I can always remember her voice and her face and the way she could stare you down when you were in the wrong. I hope I remember her soft hands and strong opinions and I hope I am just like her.
I hope I feel this way when I'm 80 and someday when we meet again, we will have a lot to talk about.
There was someone that I loved to share things with. With whom I shared a lot of secrets. We laughed and she lectured and I listened. I never (well almost never) disobeyed her. It didn't matter towards the end that she was blind and fragile. She was in charge and I knew it. I loved my grandmother, Grammy, very much. In the last few years of her life I spent a lot of time with her. I know secrets about her I will never share and I will hold close. She died about a year and a half ago and when she died I was holding her hand. It was quiet and peaceful and what she wanted. And, it was both sad and joyous.
I think about her a lot and don't really cry about it anymore, because we had very frank discussions about life and death. We talked about her wanting to see my grandfather, Pops, again so I know she is happy with him. But I wish she was around just for a minute so I could share with her what I've accomplished. I know that she knows. I know that she's watching. But, sometimes, selfishly I want her physically present.
Today after a meeting, I went to the store to get a salad and for some reason she popped in my head. I don't know why but she did. While waiting to pay an elderly man spilled his coffee and I let him cut in line to pay so he could go get cleaned up. We chatted for less than 10 seconds and I felt a wave come over me. I felt so close to her and so loved. I went to the parking lot and promptly burst into tears.
I hope when I'm 80 I still feel as close to my Grammy as I do at 35. I hope that she remains an ever present spirit in my life. I hope that I can always remember her voice and her face and the way she could stare you down when you were in the wrong. I hope I remember her soft hands and strong opinions and I hope I am just like her.
I hope I feel this way when I'm 80 and someday when we meet again, we will have a lot to talk about.
Thursday, August 15, 2013
I retired my yellow mat...
Remember my yellow yoga mat? If not this might refresh your memory...
Well, it was looking sad and beat up and I loved it and hated to part with it, so I didn't. Instead I retired it to be a soccer field/outdoor workout only yoga mat.
So, it was time to pick a new yoga mat. It may seem like a frivilous purchase but think about this. I workout between 12 and 13 hours a week. Of those workouts 2/3rds of them are generally with a yoga mat (if not more). You spend a lot of time on that mat and it had better be a good one. While I loved my yellow one (cause I was always the only person with yellow), I opted not to get another one like it. I needed something fresh and new and that included a new color.
So without looking up the meaning of the color, I opted to just pick a color I thought suited me and I chose pink.
When I see pink I think of my sorority. And no, I am not in college. I am far from it. But those women are still very much a part of my life. And, when I see pink I smile. So I bought a pink mat.
Then, I looked up what it meant... brace yourselves... Pink = Sweet, Romantic and Idealistic.
Eight months ago I would have said, um hell no. But now, I don't know I think that side of me is starting to come out again. So, Pink it is. But no worries, my yellow one is still doing its job too!
Well, it was looking sad and beat up and I loved it and hated to part with it, so I didn't. Instead I retired it to be a soccer field/outdoor workout only yoga mat.
So, it was time to pick a new yoga mat. It may seem like a frivilous purchase but think about this. I workout between 12 and 13 hours a week. Of those workouts 2/3rds of them are generally with a yoga mat (if not more). You spend a lot of time on that mat and it had better be a good one. While I loved my yellow one (cause I was always the only person with yellow), I opted not to get another one like it. I needed something fresh and new and that included a new color.
So without looking up the meaning of the color, I opted to just pick a color I thought suited me and I chose pink.
When I see pink I think of my sorority. And no, I am not in college. I am far from it. But those women are still very much a part of my life. And, when I see pink I smile. So I bought a pink mat.
Then, I looked up what it meant... brace yourselves... Pink = Sweet, Romantic and Idealistic.
Eight months ago I would have said, um hell no. But now, I don't know I think that side of me is starting to come out again. So, Pink it is. But no worries, my yellow one is still doing its job too!
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Taking the scale out of the equation...
There is no way around it, Tuesday morning SUCKED. My weigh in was frustrating and that set the tone for the morning. I couldn't find my groove, couldn't find my stride and I WAS PISSED. I have made the decision to take the scale out of the equation. While I am proud of the weight I lost, I can't be dictated by it right now because it affects my attitude and my self esteem and that CANNOT HAPPEN!
I was pissed and sad and couldn't stop thinking about how crappy I felt about myself. So, I put on my workout gear and went running at lunch. And that is when I modified my mind and how I think about this process. Yes I want to lose weight, but more so I want to be healthy! I want to feel good about myself. So, I am taking the scale out of the equation.
I was pissed and sad and couldn't stop thinking about how crappy I felt about myself. So, I put on my workout gear and went running at lunch. And that is when I modified my mind and how I think about this process. Yes I want to lose weight, but more so I want to be healthy! I want to feel good about myself. So, I am taking the scale out of the equation.
Sunday, August 11, 2013
So what does
Saturday I worked my ass off...I worked so hard to the point of exhaustion. In fact, I worked out so hard that I went to bed at 8:15 on a Saturday night and didn't wake until 6:00 this morning...
When I was at the grocery store, I noticed Hostess Twinkies on the shelf. Since they'd been gone so long they caught my eye. The entire box was almost twice the number of calories I burned in three hours of working out. So yah I passed em up...NOT WORTH IT!!!! And I know, I could bring the box in the house and just have 1 serving but 1 leads to many and it is so not worth it.
When I was at the grocery store, I noticed Hostess Twinkies on the shelf. Since they'd been gone so long they caught my eye. The entire box was almost twice the number of calories I burned in three hours of working out. So yah I passed em up...NOT WORTH IT!!!! And I know, I could bring the box in the house and just have 1 serving but 1 leads to many and it is so not worth it.
Let's talk Pound Fit...
Friday night, I once again stepped out of my comfort zone. One of the girls from bootcamp has a friend who is the only certified pound fit instructor in Kansas City so she organized a Friday night 'Happy Hour' workout. It was SOOOO FUN!!!
First off, what is pound fit you ask? Well here is the write up from the main site (http://www.poundfit.com/)
"Pound is a full-body cardio jam session, combining light resistance with constant simulated drumming. The workout fuses cardio, Pilates, isometric movements, plyometrics and Isometric poses into a 45-minute series. Burn between 600 and 900 calories per hour, strengthen and sculpt infrequently used muscles, and drum your way to a leaner, slimmer physique – all while rocking out to your favorite music!"
The founders are actually two women who love fitness and are actual drummers.
I didn't realize how hard of a workout it was until the next morning when ow ow ow...it hurt but it was GREAT!
The meet ups and workouts are held in random places right now. If you are on Facebook I encourage you to like this page to get updates : https://www.facebook.com/KCPoundfit
And, if you want to go to one of the classes give me a shout! I'll go with ya!
First off, what is pound fit you ask? Well here is the write up from the main site (http://www.poundfit.com/)
"Pound is a full-body cardio jam session, combining light resistance with constant simulated drumming. The workout fuses cardio, Pilates, isometric movements, plyometrics and Isometric poses into a 45-minute series. Burn between 600 and 900 calories per hour, strengthen and sculpt infrequently used muscles, and drum your way to a leaner, slimmer physique – all while rocking out to your favorite music!"
The founders are actually two women who love fitness and are actual drummers.
I didn't realize how hard of a workout it was until the next morning when ow ow ow...it hurt but it was GREAT!
The meet ups and workouts are held in random places right now. If you are on Facebook I encourage you to like this page to get updates : https://www.facebook.com/KCPoundfit
And, if you want to go to one of the classes give me a shout! I'll go with ya!
Let's talk Fusion Fly...
Saturday morning at 6:55 am was a big day. I took my first ever Spin class. And unlike going to the local community center, I went all out and hit Fusion Fly! It is the new Spin studio that was opened at Fusion. I had no idea how to adjust the bike or what I was doing and the instructor was amazing!!! She helped me get situated, explained to the whole group what we were doing. And man oh man did I get a workout.
Like I said it wasn't a typical Spin class in that it included weights (we did bicep curls and other arm exercises while spinning) and resistance bands (again crazy arm workout while spinning). It was a miracle I didn't fall off the bike. I credit the months of core work. Oh and when we were done on the bike, we knocked out a 3 minute push up workout on the ground. Man it felt GREAT! I will definitely do another class, if I can get in!
Like I said it wasn't a typical Spin class in that it included weights (we did bicep curls and other arm exercises while spinning) and resistance bands (again crazy arm workout while spinning). It was a miracle I didn't fall off the bike. I credit the months of core work. Oh and when we were done on the bike, we knocked out a 3 minute push up workout on the ground. Man it felt GREAT! I will definitely do another class, if I can get in!
Saturday, August 10, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
It's about going when you don't want to....
It was one of those days...the dragging my feet pissed I have to work hard kind of days. The last thing I wanted to do was work out. The DEFINITELY the last thing I wanted to do was back to back workouts. So what do you do? You put on your workout gear (you have come to hate on certain days) and you get your ass to your workout(s). So while I still didn't want to be there, I did it and now I can go to sleep proud of myself.
8 months...
It's been 8 months since I started this 'project' and I can't believe it. To mark the occasion here is a side by side selfie...
Monday, August 5, 2013
Forgiving and getting going...
Well I am a few workouts behind schedule, but considering I was on vacation I am ok with that. I still moved around every day and I still tried (not as hard as I should but as hard as I wanted to) to push myself. So now, I am back. Tonight I took Fusion Mix and holy hell it was painful. Not only were the moves hard, but the room was SWELTERING and and sweat was pouring out from everywhere. I forgot how awesome that can feel! So I forgive myself for not kicking ass while on vacation and instead, push back into it. I need to knock out 13-14 workouts this week. And, I am gonna do it DAMN IT!!!
Saturday, August 3, 2013
When a workout can be recreational...
So not much to say, but I spent Friday biking and walking Mackinac Island. It has to count as my workouts for Friday but it was so much fun!!!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Sometimes you over do it...
Oh my lord I am in PAIN!!! Like full body owwww. I am so sore no workout today as I truly needed rest and ice. When ice wasn't cutting it I went down to the lake. The lake we go to is a glacier lake and rarely gets above 50 or 55. So I used it to my advantage. As people were on the beach bitching about the cold water, I was doing the full body dunk. It felt gooooood....
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