Sunday, September 29, 2013

Rain...rain...rain..CUPCAKES!!!

Saturday worked hard to keep me in bed. It was the first really cool Fall morning. I had my bedroom window open and listened to the rain as it poured down and felt the breeze come through my window and I felt peaceful. I cancelled my two morning classes and rolled over...and then the guilt came.

So, I sat up and scheduled a 10:30 class. There is a new class called 'Cardio Culture.' It is 45 minutes of hard cardio and 15 minutes of toning. And man it is SWEATY. But I went. And when I pulled up I saw it...a damn cupcake bakery opened next door to the studio out south. (Note: I never go to that studio and that's why it seemed to appear overnight). I was super pissed to see this then I took a breath and realized, I have no desire to go in there. So moving on with life.

Holy $#IT....I am FAST!!!

Friday morning's bootcamp workout was one of my favorites, in a painful ow crap sort of way. After warm ups we all met in the middle of the field and did a few exercises (mountain climbers, push ups, crunches etc...) then for four minutes we ran/jogged the perimeter of the field. It is fun where we sprint the long side then jog/walk the short side. The fun comes in when you are sprinting and you pass people. I like to pick someone and push myself to pass them. Yah, I'm rather competitive.

After the four minutes, we came back to the center did more exercises then sprint/jogged again. We did this a few times and it felt so good. At one point I was sprinting/jogging with N and turned to her and said, WOW we are two of the fastest girls! She reminded me of how not so long ago we were the slowest...man that felt good.

Oh and BTW for the second time I was able to jog the whole warm up!

And when exhaustion hits..

You MUST go to sleep. Thursday I hit a WALL...a WALL people. I got up and hit Fusion Fly which was great but, by 3:00 I was WIPED OUT.... So, I cancelled my evening class and went home to bed. It was exactly what my body needed. I forgave myself for only working out once that day and moved on with life.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

And then I had a moment...

Tonight we had a different Wednesday night bootcamp. Instead of Switch Up like we have done for the last 3 rounds, instead this round we are meeting Wednesday nights and doing a 30 minute circuit and a 30 minute Fly...It felt so good to push myself. Then when we were finishing the Fly portion, S (our trainer) started to tell us to look at ourselves in the mirror as we cooled down and think about why we chose to do this. To think about what we want to accomplish in these 12 weeks.

I looked at myself. My sweaty self. Cycling on this bike with my skinny legs and started to cry. I started to let myself appreciate the work I have done and I thanked myself and had a good cry in that dark steamy room.

Monday, September 23, 2013

Prepping for my new career...

I hit up a new studio tonight and worked on some of those moves that I learned this summer...remember this...

Man after just a couple months I can do this so much better!!

The end of the beginning...

"This is not the end. This is not even the beginning of the end. This is perhaps an end to the beginning." - Winston Churchill

Today was my last 'first' day of bootcamp. My excitement was the fact that I was able to jog the whole warm up, to run the whole time we were asked to, to knock out 61 push ups in 60 seconds... And so to remind myself of how far I've come and to have even more appreciation I went back and looked at my first day and marvel of how different my life is. Don't remember...you can read it here...


Sunday, September 22, 2013

What a difference 9 months make...

Today was our check in / kick off for Bootcamp. It was the 4th start of a bootcamp for me. As I drove to the studio, I was very aware of my emotions and mentally compared them to how I felt all those months ago. I was excited and ready and knew that I could totally do this. I remembered how scared I was to walk into this strange place that I circled the block multiple times waiting. I remember how awkward I felt in the workout clothes and how seeing all those skinny girls I knew that I would fail....What a difference 9 months make.

Today, it felt like walking into my clubhouse. I feel so comfortable there. I know people I know what I am doing and it is just routine. And that is when I became aware of the newbies. The girls that were sitting up against the wall not talking to anyone. The girls who had that look of terror or self conciousness about them...and that is when I knew I had to pay it forward. I made an effort to introduce myself to a few of them and tell them a little bit of my story and encourage them that they can do it! They can totally get through this and own it. Some belived me, some looked at me like I was crazy. But, I want every woman who walks into this place to know that she will gain so much.

The most telling part of the day? When R took my 'Before' shots and when we were done she looked at me and said 'Wow so much more confident than the first time...'....Yup I am.

Don't forget you can follow my log for the 4.0 workouts on this page

10K F### YAH!!!!

Friday...I ate poorly...

I mean really poorly...

I mean I was SUPER LAZY...

So about 3:00pm I got it in my head to take a long run/walk from my house to my best friend's house. So I asked her 'Hey, if I make it to your home can you drive me home?' She of course said yes but kept giving me an out.

Hey Court, why didn't you just do a lap that would end at your house? You may be thinking.... Well I will tell you why. If I had just done a loop it would have been too easy to just say screw it and turn back or take a short cut home. But, if I went a distance away from home with a point of no return then I knew I would have to finish. And guess what....I DID! It was funny because I kept randomly running into friends and sorority sisters along the way. It was a beautiful evening and when it was done I felt so proud of myself.

It's a community...

My family's life was affected a long time ago by tragedy. When someone you love battles Leukemia, you can feel so helpless. When that someone is a child it is even more horrible because not only can you not explain anything but you can find no rhyme or reason.

The Fusion community has been affected by a similar situation. I call it a community because it is not a gym. These are the women that are in my life on a daily basis. I see them more than my family. This is not a get thin program or a be the skinny girl quest. These women provide a wholesome and loving and supporting environment to encourage me in my hopes and my efforts. This week I got to see how this community has pulled together and contributed an unbelievable amount of money and effort to the Light the Night walk.

I am so proud to be a part of this community and know that this won't end when my bootcamp time ends. I see these as long term relationships.

Trying new things...Pure Barre...

In the spirit of trying new things, I went to a new studio the other night. One of my sorority sisters has been doing Pure Barre for a long time and so I decided...'Why not?!' First class is free right :) Kind of like a drug deal...hey little girl the first taste is free. So I sucked in another sister and the three of us went. It is such a different vibe. Some similar moves but way more chill and zen. It was a nice break from the high intensity workouts. Don't get me wrong, it hurt like hell!! Who knew such tiny repetitive movements could hurt so bad. But, the difference is that in between moves we would pause and stretch. This pausing is a foreign concept to me. One I might get used to...but I'm loyal to Fusion.

In the 'off' season...

There were two weeks between the 3rd and the 4th bootcamp. I didn't do two a days, but unlike last time I worked out almost every single day with the goal of maintaining my weight. The critical error I made last time was to have a little too much fun in between sessions. This resulted in me spending the entire 3rd session trying to lose that weight. It just put me at a bad starting point. I am revived and determined that my 4th will be better.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Filthy habit...

When I was 14 I smoked my first cigarette. (Mom let's not pretend yup I smoked...and I smoked a long time). In fact, I smoked until the day I started my first bootcamp. I haven't talked about it much because honestly a couple of times this year I have had a couple. They make me feel horrible so I try not to have them ever. In fact I can count on one hand the number of nights I have smoked since I started this project. But, I wanted to mention it because the workouts, healthy eating is not even the most major change in my life. Yup, I broke up with Marlboro Ultra Light 100s.


I threw myself a dance party...

So personal confession...last night I threw myself a dance party. Just me. In my tiny house. In my itty bitty living room....

It started when I turned around real quick and balanced in a way I hadn't done since I was a kid in ballet. I then thought..."Wow didn't realize I could do that again!" I began to think about what else I could do...so I tried...ballet, tap, plain ole bustin a move...I finished it off with 'attempting' a back bend...HOLY SHIT...yah a bit too far.

Then I sat down and thought about my body. About how I had abused it all these years. About how this year has really been a love letter to myself. I was grateful to my mind for pushing my body and I think my body was grateful too....and then...I danced some more!

The sickness of a 5:30am workout...

So the classes I go to you have to sign up before you go. And sometimes if you don't sign up early enough, you end up on the waitlist. Sometimes you want of the waitlist and let's be honest sometimes you kind of hope that 'oh well' didn't get in...sleep in...occurs...

This week I have been pushing for 5:30am classes. This isn't normal for me. I like bootcamp mornings but morning classes every day, that shit is tough! Let's talk about what it takes...

To get to a 5:30 am class, I have to go to bed at 9:00pm or earlier. I get up at 4:40. I set two alarms to make sure this happens (but sometimes I mess em up). I walk out the door by 4:55 to drive to the studio or the soccer fields. If I go to the soccer fields or the studio out south, I have to pack my clothes and lunch and schlep it with me cause I'm not coming home. I like to be in the studio by 5:15 am. I like to get a good spot and I get in a good mental place to work out. I leave class at 6:30 am and either drive home or to the office or to my parents to get ready for work. So 5:30 am classes are hard logistically.

But, lately I get excited when I see an email come through that sais 'You've been added from the waitlist...'... what the hell is wrong with me?

So how will I spend these 2 weeks...

I made a critical error last time between bootcamps. I went a little nuts and put on lots of weight in a short amount of time. I spent the 8 weeks of the Summer Slam bootcamp working that off. So...lesson learned. I am trying so hard to maintain or perhaps lose before we start again on September 22nd. I am however giving myself a break. I am only doing one workout per day and while I am sticking to whole foods I am off counting calories. I do get on the scale every morning as a mental check in. I don't beat myself up but it does put me in the right frame of mind to get focused.

These 2 weeks are a trial run for what I will do when this is all over and I am in the maintenance phase of this new life.


End of Bootcamp #3...

Well, I finished. I didn't finish strong, but I finished. I had a massive head cold the last week, which stunk.

I'm still proud though. While I didn't lose the weight I had hoped, I was able to maintain and lose a little bit. During that time I was on vacation for 2 weeks and sick for 1 so I take it as a WIN!

Here is my latest side by side....I can barely recognize the old me...



Tuesday, September 3, 2013

All of a sudden I wasn't thinking about it...

In keeping with the spirit of appreciating what I've accomplished I had a moment this morning that almost made me cry...almost.

First off, I am STRUGGLING with allergies. I cannot breathe and the last thing I want to do is workout but I got up and I went.

This morning we did a circuit with sprints and running in between each 2 minute station. We'd do an exercise then sprint the long side of the field, jog the short side, sprint the long side and recover on the short and we would do this for 2 minutes. I had trouble with the cardio this morning because of my breathing and dry mouth (thank you antihistamines). But then, something amazing happened. On one of the sprints, I passed everyone...I was weaving in and out and I felt so fast. But that isn't where I almost cried.

It was when I was easing off and jogging around the field when I had a moment that took my breath away. As I was turning the corner after one lap I reached a point in the field where I remembered a moment so many months ago when I was having a hard day. It was about 45 pounds ago and I could only walk. Don't get me wrong I still walk alot courtesy of my hip. But, this was different. Back then when I walked I saw the girls passing me and while I smiled on the outside, inside I was humiliated. I thought 'I wish I could just get around the field once without stopping.'

Today, I remembered at that point on the field where I felt that so many months ago, I was jogging. I had just finished a lap and was cruising into a second and not even thinking about it. I wanted to jump back in time and hug myself and tell myself 'You WILL get there.'

Today, was a proud moment.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Taking stock in this last week...

This bootcamp hasn't gone how I wanted. I haven't lost the weight I wanted and I have struggled. I've been trying new things but I also had to give myself a check-in chat in the mirror. While I haven't seen the 'numbers' I want, I recognize that the changes of the last 8 months have taken hold. I think that is so much more important.

I get up for early workouts on my day off. I walk with confidence. I wear dresses that show my bare arms. I choose healthy foods at the grocery store and when I travel I don't resort to fast food. So these last 7 weeks and this next 1 hasn't been about the weight loss. It has been about enjoying my summer and maintaining where I need to be. It is a marathon...not a sprint!


Back on the bike...

I opted to return from vacation and kick it right into gear...my allergies had other plans so I have had to lay low these last couple days. But I did get my ass to the studio a couple of times. The first was a 5:25am class for Fusion Fly (spin) on Friday. I had Friday off and still got my ass out of bed to go. So I take that as a win!


I WON!!!

My family plays a lot of golf...I mean a LOT of golf. The end of the Summer ends in a family tournament where it is generally the men, but because some couldn't come we made it co-ed this year. We played 54 holes of golf in 2 days. I've worked really hard these last few months and all of a sudden everything clicked. EVERYTHING!!! And to the dismay of some...I WON!!! That's right I WON I WON I WON!!!!

I'm happier when I'm in MI...


I took my last trip to our Summer home in MI. I've had an amazing summer up there and when I'm there I feel better both mentally and physically. I try to stay active and I feel healthier. Here is one of the many reasons I love it there...These are some of the views I have when I run/walk down our street...



I'm back...

Got a few notes wondering where I was and well, I was on vacation and it was magnificent (more later). So tonight I will pound out a few entries so you can see what I've been up to heading into this last week of Bootcamp Round 3...