While I wait...

So I sit here, thinking about how much I would like to go for a walk or be on an elliptical or swimming laps. But right now, it takes everything I have to walk to the front door. I just keep focusing on sleeping, resting and hydrating and hoping that this passes quickly. I suppose now is as good of a time as any to talk about food. Other than my saltine heavy diet for the last couple days I should say I have become acutely aware of the sustenance I put in my body. Before when I would count calories, I worried about the numbers. Staying below a certain number. It didn't matter what I ate to make up that number. There are a lot of programs out there that have been successful for people that stick to that concept. Eat what you want just keep to a number.

This project has changed that in my mind. While yes there is a number I stick to and do not exceed, I consider what comprises that number. Where the easy 100 calorie snack packs could keep me under the number, the energy they provide isn't worth their cost. I'm learning to understand my need for protein and complex-carbs and the ratios of my diet they should be. Snacks are no longer simply a grab and go, but a well planned and timed thing. I eat breakfast at 8am, snack at 10am, lunch at noon, snack at 3 and again at 4 then a small dinner either just before or after the evening workout depending on the evening. The snack at 3 and 4 are really just one long snack planned out to include a fruit and a protein in preparation for a 5:30 workout. On days when I have class at 6:30 I eat dinner first and it usually a piece of fish and a veggie.

Another big change...I'm eating whole foods. That isn't to say organic. Though I love organic fruits and veggies, sometimes I go with the cheaper option. Whole is a food that comes as is that hasn't been processed or treated with additives/preservatives.Fruit, veggies, lean proteins (fish or chicken or turkey). Long and the short, whole does not mean one of those 100 calorie snack packs.

Dealing with a setback...

Well, yup...I've got Influenza A. Crap. So started on the Tamiflu and hopefully can knock this out. It takes all my energy just to stand up much less consider going to work out. But I want to be at the gym. So right now I'm focusing on getting better, sleeping, drinking lots of water and not beating myself up because today is the very first day I haven't worked out.

Listening to your body...

For the past 4.5 weeks, I've been learning to pay attention to what my body is telling me. How to differentiate between this hurts but I can push and this hurts I need to pull back. So I should have listened to it this morning when I had real trouble getting out the door to the gym. Then I had trouble getting going, I was achy and exhausted but I attributed it to the standard early morning issues. Then around noon, it started to hit me. By 1:30 I was in my car and by 2:45 I was asleep and stayed that way til 7:00. Can't figure out if this is a cold or the flu. Everything hurts but no fever and I have some crazy congestion. Worse than that, I am stressing that tomorrow might be the first day in a month I don't work out. So I will listen to my body, and go to sleep now with a prayer that I wake feeling a lot better.

On goal setting...

A month ago when I started this, I had all these lofty aspirations. I'm not saying I don't still have those but I am beginning to ponder what my friend A.P. said to me. She has been on this journey to wellness for a while and is amazing. She told me that I will learn how to set my goals. So now, as I start the fifth week that is my focus. Yes I have scale goals and inches goals and dress size goals. Come on, I'm a woman and that's what we do because that's what society tells us to do. But, I'm setting goals I know that if I push I can achieve. These are goals that 4 weeks ago would have seemed impossible. So my goal this week is to step it up on the running. I can kill it on the elliptical but when it comes to jogging/running on a treadmill that is a yah not so much for me. I can't decide if I have a physical or mental block there but that is my new drive. I don't necessarily want to run on a treadmill but I want to be able to jog and sprint in our Monday and Friday bootcamps. Right now I walk/speed walk and occasionally run when required by an exercise. So that is the mindset I started with today. Now on the warm ups I didn't jog. I stuck to speed walking. However today we did Tabata.

A quick description of Tabata the way we did it...20 seconds of a hard exercise (ie: push ups, tricep dips, repeater knees etc) then 10 seconds to sprint to the other side of the field and do another exercise for 20 seconds. Do this 4 times and that's a set.

So in my head, I said ok time to run. It's a short distance and I can do anything for 10 seconds right? I'm proud to say that aside from one set where I backed off not because of running but because of the exercises, I did in fact do the sprinting back and forth.

Now in between when we did walking/jogging/running back and forth for a couple minutes I again backed off. But, I will get there. And in the last run across the field at the end of the session....I ran faster than I ever have in this group...or in decades for that matter.

On reaching the 4 week mark...

From day one, our wonderful group leaders S & R kept saying. The first four weeks are the really hard part, if we can get through the four weeks then we can do the next 8 weeks. It will become routine, it will become part of what we do. You know what, they were right! I'm sitting here having finished my 48th workout in four weeks. Yes, 48! To give you an idea of my week, here are some totals for this week...

Elliptical: 3 Hours 55 Minutes
Take Home Workouts: 3 Hours 10 Minutes
Bootcamp Mornings: 2 Hours
Walking: 1 Hour 10 Minutes
Swimming: 35 Minutes

That is 650 Minutes of working out. Which is 10 Hours 50 Minutes. On top of that, I have burned through exercise 7,168 calories. I can't wait to see what I do in the next 4 weeks!!!

Making choices..

This project is all about choices. I made the choice to start this. I made the choice to commit. Every day I make a choice to put on my shoes and go to the gym. I have not skipped a single day of working out since this began, I made that choice. I choose every day what I will fuel my body with and since this began have not once exceeded my limit or cheated once. Every single thing I put in my mouth gets recorded. Today, after a miserably tough take home workout, I chose to eat lunch and walk out the door for a long walk. And when I was close to the time I needed for the day and near to my home, I chose to turn left and walk away from my house and tack on another 20 minutes. This project is way more than physical, it is almost entirely mental.   The physical will follow when I have my mind right. No one can make these choices for me.

The question I hate most...

It's FRIDAY! That means another bootcamp morning and plenty of time no rush for my evening workout. Bootcamp mornings never fail to introduce new 'fun' activities. Today we did a four station circuit.
Station 1: Sprint forward, Run Backward (3 min)
Station 2: Tricep Dips on a Bench (45 sec) Pushups on a Bench (45 sec) Repeat!
Station 3: Wall sits (45 sec) Wall taps (45 sec) Repeat!
Station 4: Stair Run (3 min)

Oh and guess what after we did those stations and a mini-fusion class..we did all four stations AGAIN!

It was that last one that I thought was gonna kill me. It is no secret I'm the slowest one in the group. I bring up the rear quite nicely though I hate it and I try to do better. Today during the stair run I was so thankful to my group that said...Keep going girl! You got this! Looking good! It made me feel good.

I've become more open about this process and have been telling people what I'm doing which is nice but it inevitably leads to my least favorite question... "How much have you lost?" There it is. This process defined as a scale and a loss. And while I partially hate that because the numbers aren't dropping drastically, I mostly hate it because if it was about losing then I would have lost interest 3 1/2 weeks ago. Tonight, I want to turn that around to what I've gained in almost 4 weeks of this.

Confidence: 4 weeks ago I walked into a room full of strangers who were all smaller and more athletic than me. And you know what? I stayed! And when I couldn't do what they were doing I did what I could and I stopped being embarrassed. I used to walk into a gym like I was covered for a long trek into the tundra, now a small t-shirt, tight pants, shoes and socks are all I need. I don't care what people think.

Sleep: I go to bed exhausted not from laziness but because I have burned a ton of calories and eaten right and focused. I haven't had heartburn in the middle of the night since this started. I go to bed early and I wake up early and I'm used to it.

Organization: I'm generally an organized person. This has pushed me to be hyper organized. I know everything I'm going to eat and when I'm gonna eat it. My laundry is constantly done and put away. I know what I am going to wear every day and I know exactly where I am supposed to be at every moment.

Health: I haven't had processed sugar since this began. I have eaten fruits, veggies, lean proteins and very little in the way of grains. And I haven't been hungry. I am working to cut all processed foods and next week I am tackling soda. I used to struggle to get to 15 minutes on the elliptical and tonight I walked away from 55 min plus the rest of my take home workout. My cholesterol has dropped, and because I drink water CONSTANTLY my skin looks fantastic.

Pride: Every night I look in the mirror and I smile at myself because I know that I worked hard that day, that I made good choices for my body and that I did something today that yesterday I didn't think I could do.

So, when someone asks me how much I've lost I tell them some and there is more to go. Then I smile because inside I know they just don't get it and I wish I could make them get it then I move on.