What makes me happy...

I'm discovering what really makes me happy. For a long time I thought I was happy. I said I was happy. It looked like I was happy. But, in reality I didn't know what happiness was. I knew joy. I knew fun and elation but I truly believe that this is the first time in a long time I have felt happy.

I guess to really understand what I mean I would first have to define what I think 'happy' is. I am just discovering this feeling in the sense that it is not defined by outside forces. Rather it emanates from within. See, I think there are things or events around us that can make us feel happy but this life I am experiencing now is making me 'be' happy.

I wake in the morning without a sense of dread. I look forward to the next task. I smile at myself in the mirror, not just because I like how I look but because I love how I feel. My energy pushes me and drives me and makes me want to do more to experience more of this happiness. I know there is a physiological link between endorphins and our emotions. I think more than that, it is a psychological shift in how I look and define myself that is what drives me every day. I am addicted to this life and that is a wonderful feeling.