The eve of the weigh in...

I need to calm down. I am stressing out and I know that translates into gaining weight. I have to remember that what I've done is a great accomplishment and focus on that! This is not about a single day this is about a life change. But damn, I really want to hit a certain number.

Pushing to the final weigh in...

I am less than 48 hours from our final weigh in and measurements for this round. These weeks have gone so fast. I think it helped that there was vacation somewhere in the middle and that I reached a couple milestones.

As I prepare for the last weigh in of this session, I am OBSESSED with water intake. Can't get enough H2O! I am shunning every activity outside of work in favor of workouts. I really want to hit -20 for this round which would be -52 overall.

Right now every pound is just gravy because every number on the scale is a number I haven't seen in almost 20 years at least! So I just have to give it my all for another 33 hours. I can do this!!!

Thanks for reading...

Just a quick thank you to a few folks out there who take time to read what I write. Who tell me on this blog, or via email or in person what they think. I want to especially thank you ladies in our Accounting Department for being such great cheerleaders! You three make me laugh! Thanks so much W, M and B!

Feel bad for the haters and move on....

I've started to experience something new. Haters. I'm not saying people hate me, though I am sure there are a few out there that don't like me and that is life. I'm talking about haters in the sense that they can't be happy for me because they are sad with their situation. I've gotten glares and snide comments. It makes me sad, for about a second, then I move on. And really when I'm sad, I'm sad for them.

I don't understand why as women we feel the need to express jealousy of another's success in such a negative fashion. Fine, be jealous that is normal but don't turn around and try to pull that woman down. I believe it is one of the reasons women as a gender haven't risen up to our full potential. Rather than celebrating each others success, we covet it and wonder how we can get it and if we don't think we can get it for ourselves we try to take it from the one that has it.

So go ahead and hate, it isn't getting you any closer to success. And that's your problem.

How can you get there...

Holy shit, I can touch my toes...

In class, I was stretching before we got started. I don't usually do this. Honestly I just hang and jump in and stretch after. Without even thinking I bent over, legs straight and put my hands on the ground. All of a sudden, I realized, 'HOLY SHIT I'M TOUCHING MY TOES!!!'

When did that happen? When did I become flexible enough to do that? When did my stomach get out of the way to make that possible? I have no idea but it is those little discoveries that keep this adventure new, exciting and refreshing. Things like this make me think...'Hmmmm what else can I do and I just don't know it?'
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Showing some skin...

I went out the other night. I wore a cute dress with spaghetti straps and a strapless bra. Nothing covering my shoulders or arms.

It is in the high 90's here and let me tell you, it is so much more tolerable to wear short skirts and sleeveless attire. I've discovered that feeling good in my clothes doesn't just mean having them fit. It means feeling good about how I look. About feeling comfortable in my environment (ie: not wearing a cardigan in summer heat). It's about walking into a room and not wanting to hide in the corner or at the back of a group.

I'm showing some skin and it's feeling great!

On crossing the halfway mark...

I am now closer to my goal than I am to my starting point. I crossed the midpoint and am continuing to push to the goal. I can't believe I am so much closer to my goal than I was a month, two months, six months ago.

And, while I am excited that I am more than halfway there, I am also terrified knowing what it will take to get there. I hurt, I'm sore, I want a damn cheeseburger. But, I want that goal more.

I want to start a chain reaction...

I want to start a chain reaction.
I want people to look at me and realize they can do what they want to do.
I want people to know that the only obstacle is their mind.
I want people to look at their life, take an assessment and make a change to get to where they want to be.
I want my friends to feel as good as I do.
I want my friends to look in the mirror and feel their worth and smile at themselves.
I want my friends to wake up every day excited for change.
I want everyone I love to be happy and joyous and honestly ecstatic about their lives.
I want to start a chain reaction.

Walking into a 'normal' store...

I went to a normal store. That is to say a store that sells clothes that 'normal' sized people go to. Where they don't sell clothes in my old size on the racks, rather you have to order those online. I went to a normal store and I walked from rack to rack thinking about the clothes, trying to figure out what size I am. I pulled the largest size and somehow knew it was wrong but still took a couple dresses in that size as sort of a security blanket. I went to the dressing room and tried on everything the big size was way to big and the smallest size I pulled was just right. I turned around, looked in the mirror and thought. Then I put it all back on hangers and walked out without buying a thing.

The old me would have snatched up the first thing that fit, thankful that it covered me. The new me stopped to think if I really liked what I was wearing and since I didn't I put it back. I knew I could go to another 'normal' store and buy something better.

Walking past Mi Ranchito...

I work with all boys...well men...but boys at heart. Don't get me wrong there are women at our company but I am surrounded by boys. These guys go out to lunch all the time. Buffets, burger specials, mexican you name it. It used to be that I knew all the lunch specials and I would go with them every single day.
One of my favorites was a local Mexican restaurant. In fact my 'last meal' out if you will was to that place. It actually has several locations around town. One is underneath the fusion studio. No kidding.

Every single day I walk past that place. I see people on the patios enjoying chips, salsa, guac etc. I carry my yoga mat past the margaritas, past the queso and up the stairs to get my ass kicked. And I walk downstairs sweaty and disgusting past that same patio but this time with staring eyes. See I've stopped covering up. I wear form fitted clothes to work out in. When I arrive at the studio I am generally in work clothes and I change. When I leave I am dripping in sweat and wearing spandex type clothes.

I like to imagine the people staring are thinking, damn I should work out and not eat another nacho.

I've been bad...

I haven't been writing but frankly it is because I've been swamped. So tonight a few entries to try and make up for that. I need to bring my focus back to this project so that is the goal for the last 10 days of this round.

'Pulse' is a dirty word..

First off I somehow completed 3 workouts today...Bootcamp in the morning, soccer practice at lunch and my first InTENse class tonight. InTENse is a new Fusion class that breaks the workout into 10 minute sections. You do 10 minutes cardio, 10 minutes arms, 10 minutes butt then repeat. I liked it. It was a good combo of cardio and conditioning/toning. However, when you are focusing on small muscle groups there is a word I dread. That word...PULSE.

There is nothing worse than when you are doing a big movement (kicking your leg in the air behind you, making big circles with your arms while holding weights etc.) than when you hit the peak of that movement and you are done with your minute and the instructor says...wait for it...'Now hold it there and pulse, pulse, pulse...'

It doesn't seem like tiny movements are painful but about 10 seconds in there is a tingling...at 20 seconds a soreness...by halfway thru you are burning and that is when the magic happens. You have to push your mind past your body and focus on the fact that it is only 30 seconds more and you can make it. Sometimes you succeed...and sometimes you don't. I've noticed I succeed at this more than I fail. But I think for the rest of my life I will hate that call from the instructor...now pulse pulse pulse...

Another size down...

I knew it was coming, the day when I would wear a size I haven't worn in a long time. I have a wonderful friend I've made through this 'project' who brought me clothes she'd shrunk out of. Low and behold I put on shorts that were a size I haven't worn since I was 20 years old. That is 15 years my friends. Just celebrating a little bit by wearing shorts in public for the first time in over 5 years!

Results

I'm not gonna lie, I'm bummed by my results so far. But, I know part of it is my level of effort. So I am recommitting to push hard these last 3 weeks!

Cause sometimes you need to have a break...

I won great tickets from my company for the Royals game Thursday night. And while I love my Sisterchicks, this time I opted to take new friends. These women have sweated beside me for 22 weeks and we need to have some (non-exercise) related fun!

Let's talk about Switch Up...

I've often written about Wednesday night class. My fears and dreads surrounding it. But somewhere along the lines that all changed. Now I look forward to it. We are packed into a hot room sweating and grunting and yes occasionally laughing. It hurts so bad and it feels so good when it stops.

But I love it, because we have a great instructor and because when we finish I feel like I've done something really great!

Back from vacation...

I got back late Monday night so no Tues morning class. I came back to Fusion Tuesday night and it HURT! But, a good hurt. While I worked out on vacation there is nothing like being back in the studio with my girls.

You know it's a popular Fusion class when you see this...