After my last post, I got a call. A dear friend of ours, part of our family really, passed away unexpectedly. I was glad I had written the previous post because I held it in my head and have tried not to comfort eat.
I got up and went to bootcamp this morning. I had gained a few ounces (my first gain in this whole process) and I attribute some of it to stress.
I was remembering our friend's words to me last time I saw him (Easter Sunday) when he told me how proud he was of me and that I just had to keep moving. This morning at bootcamp as we ran to the wall to do wall-sits someone said that we just had to keep moving and that is when the grief boiled up and over. I sprinted from the field and across the facility where I cried a deep heaving sob. No chance to catch my breath. That deep belly ache of sadness overcame me and I worked to pull it together. Then I heard him in my head that I just had to keep moving. So I went back and finished.
These next couple days are going to be hard, hell it's gonna be hard for a long time but I know he was proud and so I will hold him in my heart as one of my cheerleaders.
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